The world of internet Quake deathmatch is a culture and society in and
of itself. There is comradery, conflict, joy, anger, cooperation, fear,
honesty, racism, and crime in that world.
Some players take this world very seriously. I, for example, have spent much time building levels, coding patches, modifying my employer's winsock implementation to try to live with that wacky mpath network gizmo (mpath, you dudes have a reentrancy bug - for TCP in a DOS box, use a VxD and just skip winsock, hey?), and of course doing a lot of "testing". I take the World of Quake very, very seriously. No laughing, smiling, or showing your teeth.
Therefore, I, Gyro Gearloose, hereby declare myself the Supreme Gonzonicator of Something or Other, which happens to mean that I get to frame laws or a constitution or whatever which shall govern the inhabitants of the World of Quake. If you don't like that, then you shall be put to death.
Law #1: After executing a victim, the killer shall not jump up and down upon the fallen body except as is necessary to retrieve the former owner's belongings. The victor is expressly forbidden from leaping about with gleeful abandon in the vicinity of termination, hacking at the gibbed body peices with an axe until they disappear.
Law #2: It is a crime to whine about "campers" or other frusterations. Whining is a misdemeanor, which, like all crimes in the World of Quake, is punishable by death.
Law #3: Condemnation of anything that is permissable within the constraints of the Quake environment is punishable by death. Condemning a particular playing style adopted by another player is punishable by death, and the player judged gets to carry out the sentence.
Law #4: Come to think of it, everything is punishable by death. Stopping to type "Good one!" to another player is punishable by death, and if you whine about that, you will be put to death. Getting up and leaving your computer to go take a pee is punishable by death, unless you happen to have just died, in which case you can consider your debt to society paid in advance.
Law #5: Flooding another player with ICMP ping or Quake UDP packets in order to slow them down or lock them up is really a bad thing to do because the people at your ISP or at the other person's who configure the routers and gateways will wonder where the bandwidth is going. You will attract their attention, and they will view it as a problem to be solved. If you can't figure out what happens next, you are stupid, and the Laws of Darwin will apply.
Cain's Law #6: It shall be punishable by methods worse than death to unduly
harass someone within or without of a game of Quake; to be vulgar, indecent,
and obscene, to another based upon sex, preference, playing style, web page
maintenance, 'bot authorization, map design, mouser, or keyboardist shall
not become a tolerable offence.
Thanks Phil! :)
